i am loath to say that i'm currently sitting in a panera - it's not my fault, people! dan had to work this morning and since we are carpool-ers i decided to wait around this banana stand and pretend to "do work" on my computer. what this means is to watch project runway while uploading pictures and reminiscing from a really amazing, invigorating weekend in new york. here's a play by play :
friday: drive up to DC, hang out with my daddio y mamacita, meet megan, drink sangria in chinatown, wait an extra hour for the bus, get yelled at by the seriously abrasive proprietors of the bus, hurry onto the bus, doze while sharing leonard cohen on the ipod, brave the disgusting hole in the floor they refer to as the toilet, which is located in inky darkness and is not equipped with toilet paper or a locking door, get walked in on by a fellow bus rider while hovering above said hole and clinging to the handicapped handle for dear life while truck drivers catch glimpses of my bare bottom through the uncurtained window, FINALLY get to manhattan, meet jonny, drink delicious pickle-tini and eat yummy veg dumplings at bar nearby where there is a single gogo dancer, get in cab, go to apartment in brooklyn, drink rolling rock, talk about immigration/welfare/who the fuck knows, feel bad for andrew for having to get up to go to work in 4 hours, pass out
saturday: wake up with horrible pain from lack of pillow, suspect heart attack, take advil, venture out, walk walk walk walk see parks, trees, people, teeny dogs, children, books, clothes, cheese shop, end up at the five leaves, wait wait, drink perfect iced coffee, sit at bar, tiny pickle in my bloody mary, 3 hour long meal nom nom nom nom fried tomatoes, walk walk walk, dead rat, waterfront, strange smells, big grass, conversations about heinous crimes, baby in tutu, pumpkin pie ice cream, old books, nude afro-d barbara streisand record, children's stories, youtube videos, COMPLETE DOUBLE RAINBOW, walk walk, bar, wine, chug wine, pizzzzzzzaaaaaa, dimmed lighting, wine, cab, traffic, paul! queen vic, jager bombs, british flag, gay bar, too many people, kgb, walk walk, cab, bridge, drunk, home, sleep, pillow
sunday: good morning! showerrrrrr, took too long to get ready, nutella bagel but NO SMOOTHIES, get on the train for the first time, get off the train, get on the train, get off the train, brooklyn museum! pornographic statue, student discount, art art art, slippery floors, rhinestones, vaginas! leave into the crisp air, walk, park, squirrels, dogs, kites, soccer, volleyball, legs tired, INDIAN FOOD, dosa! thin flaky buttery lentil pancake in my belly, crowded cafeteria, laughing laughing laughing, walk walk, back to brooklyn, the knitting factory, hilarious, hipster bar, sleeeeepy, couch, sleep.
monday: depressed! last day :( we carry our ludicrously heavy bags around, eat mozzarella basil tomato pesto sandwich, people watch, drudge up the stairs, down the stairs, people watch in chinatown, wait for bus, sit on bus, traffic on bus, try to sleep on bus, get off bus, get on metro, get off metro, get on shuttle bus, get on metro, get off metro, get in cab, goodbye megan! get in car, get out of car, put oil in car, get in car, drive home, get home. bed. dan. mmmmm.
everything besides the traveling aspect of this weekend was truly perfect. the perfect little getaway and we managed to not lose our savings in the process. i love new york!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
off with your head
dance dance til you're dead.
I really love the Yeah Yeah Yeah's. Even It's Blitz, which is on the verge of TOO DANCEY (if there is such a thing), has some gems. Part of this is sentimental; I used to listen to Fever to Tell back in the day with my girls driving fast down the dark streets of the suburbs, looking at the stars, smoking cigarettes, waiting for something to do, not realizing it was already happening.
I should be doing work right now! I refuse to ramble further!
I really love the Yeah Yeah Yeah's. Even It's Blitz, which is on the verge of TOO DANCEY (if there is such a thing), has some gems. Part of this is sentimental; I used to listen to Fever to Tell back in the day with my girls driving fast down the dark streets of the suburbs, looking at the stars, smoking cigarettes, waiting for something to do, not realizing it was already happening.
I should be doing work right now! I refuse to ramble further!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
FRIGHT FEST
So today started out like most Sundays, albeit I was a little more hungover than usual because there was a big hoo-ha over in Oregon Hill that left me worse for the wear. Anyway, we woke up, lazed around and decided we wanted to go out in the crisp air for some food at Joe's Inn because we may be too lazy to cook but not too lazy to walk to get some good ass potatoes. Then I get a call from Megan telling me that she somehow has two free tickets to Kings Dominion that have to be used today and is headed there with Justin right now. The weather was looking pretty icky but we decided to brave it and went out there to meet them after we ate. It was just bizarre to spontaneously leave for Kings Dominion having no plan whatsoever and no expectations, but it ended up being a really fun day. There were no lines, it wasn't a hundred and ten degrees outside, we rode all the good roller coasters over and over, but what I wasn't prepared for was the FRIGHT. Or, as they call it now, "Halloween Haunt" or some stupid shit, I guess it changes every year. We read the map of all the 'scary' attractions they have and decide to go into this totally un-ironically haunted "slaughterhouse" where the terror is that they're really EATING PEOPLE. I mean normally it's animals that they are slaughtering for food but I guess that's a-ok. Regardless! I was not prepared for how fucking terrified I was of this attraction. We walk in and there's a corridor with all this fake hanging meat and then all of a sudden people dressed like deranged butchers with horrifying monster masks start jumping out at us as we walk through the winding halls, and it FREAKED ME OUT SO BAD. I was on the verge of tears by the time we got out of there because they sensed my fear and honed in on me while I clutched Dan's jacket like a 5 year old. The element of suspense, the fact that they're all wielding cleavers, I don't know what it was that turned me from a rational adult who knows that these are humorously nonthreatening amusement park workers wearing masks to someone who truly believed that she was about to be cut up and served to a bunch of pigs (because wouldn't THAT be ironic)! After we got out of there I refused to participate in any further spooky activities, including Club Blood (vampires) and ASYLUM (duh). But even if you didn't want to partake in the sectioned off scare-zones, there were still gobs of scary actors dressed up like demented clowns or undead pilgrims milling around who SMELLED the fact that they could get a high-pitched squeal out of me. When did I become such a baby?! This has really put me on high alert because if I didn't know this about myself what else could there be lurking in my subconscious just waiting to ooze out at the most inopportune moment? What if I'm terrified of a certain breed of dog or completely enamored by sting rays? WHO KNOWS ANYMORE?!?
Oh well, here I am on the merry-go-round :)
Oh well, here I am on the merry-go-round :)
Friday, October 1, 2010
I'm back!
So today is the day I start blogging again for real. I just got home from mentoring and it's beautiful outside, I'm in a good mood, I don't have to go to work at Huntington and wheeeeee all is well in the world. Forget that I have to man the center tomorrow while three thousand kids come in for various reasons, teachers invariably are late or don't show, parents ask inane questions while timers scream at me at 5 minute intervals, everyone wants to take a snack break at the same time and I can't stop questioning the appropriateness of my top. Seriously, who invented professional attire?
Ok, enough negativity. It truly is intoxicatingly (yep that's not a word) nice outside and I had such a good mentoring session today with Marissa. We played Scrabble, drew pictures, played tic-tac-toe and all the while had an impressively easy conversation. She is almost painfully shy and demure so I occasionally found myself hurling a spate of questions at her and had to stop, but she really opened up (relatively) today and we even had a few laughs, mainly at the squashed, preschool-esque butterfly I drew for her.
So at the risk of giving up on this post because there are so many distractions going on around me right now, I will end it here and accept the fact that if this is going to be a daily activity, my blog doesn't have to include every single aspect of my life. WHEW.
Ok, enough negativity. It truly is intoxicatingly (yep that's not a word) nice outside and I had such a good mentoring session today with Marissa. We played Scrabble, drew pictures, played tic-tac-toe and all the while had an impressively easy conversation. She is almost painfully shy and demure so I occasionally found myself hurling a spate of questions at her and had to stop, but she really opened up (relatively) today and we even had a few laughs, mainly at the squashed, preschool-esque butterfly I drew for her.
So at the risk of giving up on this post because there are so many distractions going on around me right now, I will end it here and accept the fact that if this is going to be a daily activity, my blog doesn't have to include every single aspect of my life. WHEW.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
bennie and the jets
The title of this post has zero to do with its content; I just downloaded one of Elton John's greatest hits albums and am simply enjoying it.
This post is about empathy, and how quickly we as humans forget that other humans are just that. Being human is a consistently amazing thing for plenty of reasons, one of which is our ability to acknowledge the pain and suffering of the world and similarly ignore it completely. It's not insensitivity, rather survival. We literally cannot absorb the abstract notion that while our consciousness continues and our worlds remain untouched, people are being tortured, raped, killed, bought, sold, and to a lesser degree hungry, cold, poor, and spit upon for reasons unfounded. I write this as a human, as someone who goes through life knowing the sadness of others but ignoring it to stave off my own. It's easier to laugh at things that those whom we don't understand or agree with do, or to immediately sympathize without true sympathy. We whittle our worlds down, and in doing so forget that the other people who walk the same streets as we do are so much closer to us than we think; they feel the same feelings, love their mothers, hate their jobs, smile at the sun, are insecure about their opinions, curse traffic, don't understand politics, could always use more money, think their significant other is sexier than yours, have no idea what they're doing on this planet, and drink too much coffee. We are so quick to judge because, if we didn't, if we truly accepted that other people were just like us, we would lose our individuality and what we believe really does make us human, our unique perception of the world.
I'm reading the book Better by Atul Gawande, a chapter of which you can check out here.
Health care is such a big issue these days and this is just one subset thereof, but it definitely plays into the idea that so many wish were true that there is a bad vs good, right vs wrong. Everyone should get free health care, or noone should get free health care. Doctors are making money off of our pain, or doctors are saints. Because we lack empathy, we cannot imagine that, like us, most people don't fall into categories of extremes. Overall, in any arena of life, our need for simplification and for there to be someone to pay for wrongs that are attributable not to evil but to human error, is pushing us further away from solutions to problems that aren't going away. Gawande is a physician and writer, and his book documents the ins and outs of doctorhood from the importance and evolution of hand washing, to the difficulty of eradicating a disease, to the flawed system of malpractice lawsuits against doctors. The latter is what I'm currently reading about, which prompted this post. Gawande describes the frustration and humiliation inherent in dealing with a malpractice case, the horror that comes along with being blamed for someone's pain or even death. The flaw in the system stems not from the need for humans to feel reimbursed for such negligence, but rather the immense trust and faith we put into doctors and the medical system, and our instantaneous vilification of them when something goes wrong. We set doctors so high because we can't bear thinking that our health is in the hands of someone less than perfect and, in creating in our mind gods who can bring us back to life, are of course let down by the fact that they are indeed just like us, ultimately defined by their failures.
This post is about empathy, and how quickly we as humans forget that other humans are just that. Being human is a consistently amazing thing for plenty of reasons, one of which is our ability to acknowledge the pain and suffering of the world and similarly ignore it completely. It's not insensitivity, rather survival. We literally cannot absorb the abstract notion that while our consciousness continues and our worlds remain untouched, people are being tortured, raped, killed, bought, sold, and to a lesser degree hungry, cold, poor, and spit upon for reasons unfounded. I write this as a human, as someone who goes through life knowing the sadness of others but ignoring it to stave off my own. It's easier to laugh at things that those whom we don't understand or agree with do, or to immediately sympathize without true sympathy. We whittle our worlds down, and in doing so forget that the other people who walk the same streets as we do are so much closer to us than we think; they feel the same feelings, love their mothers, hate their jobs, smile at the sun, are insecure about their opinions, curse traffic, don't understand politics, could always use more money, think their significant other is sexier than yours, have no idea what they're doing on this planet, and drink too much coffee. We are so quick to judge because, if we didn't, if we truly accepted that other people were just like us, we would lose our individuality and what we believe really does make us human, our unique perception of the world.
I'm reading the book Better by Atul Gawande, a chapter of which you can check out here.
Health care is such a big issue these days and this is just one subset thereof, but it definitely plays into the idea that so many wish were true that there is a bad vs good, right vs wrong. Everyone should get free health care, or noone should get free health care. Doctors are making money off of our pain, or doctors are saints. Because we lack empathy, we cannot imagine that, like us, most people don't fall into categories of extremes. Overall, in any arena of life, our need for simplification and for there to be someone to pay for wrongs that are attributable not to evil but to human error, is pushing us further away from solutions to problems that aren't going away. Gawande is a physician and writer, and his book documents the ins and outs of doctorhood from the importance and evolution of hand washing, to the difficulty of eradicating a disease, to the flawed system of malpractice lawsuits against doctors. The latter is what I'm currently reading about, which prompted this post. Gawande describes the frustration and humiliation inherent in dealing with a malpractice case, the horror that comes along with being blamed for someone's pain or even death. The flaw in the system stems not from the need for humans to feel reimbursed for such negligence, but rather the immense trust and faith we put into doctors and the medical system, and our instantaneous vilification of them when something goes wrong. We set doctors so high because we can't bear thinking that our health is in the hands of someone less than perfect and, in creating in our mind gods who can bring us back to life, are of course let down by the fact that they are indeed just like us, ultimately defined by their failures.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Today
Today was a lovely day. Last night it cooled down enough that we could sleep without the AC unit or the fan, and being under the covers makes for some good snuggling. This morning the sun shone through the curtains without its usual stifling heat. I biked to meet Jessica at the gym and we did an hour-long yoga class. My only previous yoga background is hot yoga, and this was a severely less intense experience. I enjoyed it but didn't exactly feel like I'd worked out. I know that's not the point of yoga (namaste) but 90 minutes in a 100 degree room really made the difference in the poses, the heat intensified every movement and allowed me to push further and focus completely. The air-conditioning today somehow softened the flow, and I was surprised when the hour was over. Afterward we biked into Carytown and I got a smoothie, then I managed to get home, take a shower, drink a coffee and read a chapter in my book before work! Work itself was wonderful as well, I got to give a diagnostic test to the most adorable 6 year old on the planet. The hours passed quickly; they usually drag on as the child becomes more and more fatigued and frustrated with the constant reading/writing/math exercises, but she chugged along cheerfully and yapped away about obstacle courses and rocket ships. As we waited for her mom to return we flipped through a random magazine and she pointed out everything she saw, "woman...gardener...ooh is that a spa in japan? impressive!" She was verbose and personable, and she's not even out of the first grade. Treacly (or perhaps insensitive, depending on how you look at it) as it may sound, those gems are the ones who keep me positive and working. Now I'm off to Ipanema for $2 champagne cocktails - what sounds more delicious than that?
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
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